and then some


“What have you been doing?”
“Waiting for you.”
— Like Crazy, 2011
you can wrap love up in a blanket of pretty words and daydreams of one day, but you need to know that it isn't going to be pretty all the time—love is constant work. it's the job where the work never ends; it's the job that requires constant training and learning and relearning and unlearning bad habits and tendencies. it's the job that needs to be moving and growing and changing and adapting to new environments, learning how to help one another flourish and bloom in new soil. it's the job where you have to take it page by page. it's the job that will make you buckle at the knees and bend to a breaking point.

but it's also the job where you get paid in sunday morning kisses and date nights that aren't just scheduled for friday and saturday. it's the job that pays in the comfort of knowing you have a constant shoulder to lean on. it's the job that pays in sheets pulled over cold toes in the middle of the night and a hand to hold for guidance in a busy crowd. it's the job where you always, always have someone there to teach you, to learn from, to help when the other person needs it, and to lift you up when life has been hard. 


- - - - - - - -

sometimes i think love is always having a hand to hold and a person to have singalong with on road trips to cottage country. maybe it's someone who is both a home and an adventure. maybe it's whoever your hiding place is; the person who keeps you anchored during storms, the person you go to when you need to feel safe. maybe it's your own shared idea of heaven. johnny cash said his definition of paradise was this morning, with her, having coffee, and maybe that is what love can be defined as ever-so-simply: a morning, together, having coffee.

there are some lyrics from a song called and then some by a band called the arkells that read i adore you because you don't care where i came from and i think that's what love is all about; loving someone with all of their mess, with all of their past, with all of the things that have made them who they are today, and not giving a damn. there is just love in its simplest and purest form: without restrictions and boundaries and hurdles to jump over. without the boring games of cat and mouse. without trying to cover ourselves up with masks to perform. it's just loving someone and not caring where they came from.

and i think love is returning that favour. 

one day.

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