When you love someone, you say their name different. Like it’s safe inside your mouth.
- Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care
a shared apartment in the city or a house on the hillside. those times when you will call me out on my shit (and vice versa). you'll remind me to stop picking at myself in the mirror and to stop leaving half-empty mugs of tea around the house. i'll say it's endearing, you'll roll your eyes. learning that the greatest support comes through being independent together and not through guilt or dependency. studying how a hand that just fits perfectly in mine. unfolding into one another when life has been anything but easy and we just need a shoulder to lean on & a hand to hold. i will want to think of you and being with you like returning home after a long trip, but i will also want to think of you as an anchor when i need one and a lighthouse when i'm lost in the sea of my mind and the sails on my ship when i need a little push. i can't be everything to you and you can't be everything to me, but i want to believe that i can keep your heart safe in the stormiest of weather.
knowing that we aren't always going to be the best versions of ourselves and, sometimes, we will need to just let the other be. we will want to be brave and jump right in and fix whatever is making us hurt immediately, but we will just need the other to be the anchor until we are ready to start sailing again. it's knowing that there will be very, very hard times, but choosing the other every day even when it's hard. ears that are ready to listen when we disagree and need to hear what the other has to say. the craving to bottle up every quiet moment so i can remember it for years to come. i'll be sure to brew the morning coffee if you can hold the umbrella on rainy days and i have far too many things in my hands (most likely our to-go cups and maybe a book that i can't put down). that moment full of excitement when my library, full of Cheryl Strayed and Bridget Jones and Jojo Moyes and Harry Potter and memoirs by inspiring and brave women merges with your library.
& that feeling we get—right in the pit of our stomachs—when the other walks through the door. it's similar to the feeling one has after waking up after a well-rested sleep, or when it's a celebration and we are a little drunk on champagne, or hearing edge of desire for the first time again. or it's all of these feelings all wrapped up into one: the feeling of stability, comfort, and love.
one day, part one
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