23 Things I'm (Still) Learning at 23

Last week I was going through old blog posts from a few years back and I came across the post I published on my 21st birthday - 21 Things I've Learned in 21 Years. I turn 23 tomorrow, so I thought it would be fun to go through all the things I haven't learned in 23 years. So, here are 23 things I wrote to myself..

To me:
  1. Mum knows best. She will always be right on everything; boys, friends, money, etc. She knows best, and any moment in time when I try to outsmart her will always end in her saying I told you so. And she will say that in the sassiest tone which will remind you why you love her so much.

  2. Wearing yourself thin isn't helping anyone, especially yourself. You don't need to be everything to everyone. Make sure you're giving yourself everything that you need, and then help other people out.

  3. It's normal to grow out of people. You're going to want to cling onto them because of past memories and good times, but it's normal to grow and change and go your separate ways.

  4. You don't have to be happy all the time. Happiness is the goal, but no one expects you to have a smile plastered across your face all the time. You're human and you have a lot more emotions than just happy.

  5. Shower before bed. There will never be a day when you will choose sleep over waking up early to shower. Maybe your wedding day, but I even doubt that. You'll always choose sleep. Always.

  6. Choosing to paint your nails right before you are ready to go to bed. This is not a good idea because it either results in you 1) being sleepy and angry at yourself for painting your nails right before bed when they take years to dry, or 2) going to bed and completely messing up your nails - and your duvet.

  7. When a boy that you kissed in a gross bar returns, don't give him the time of day. Some people are allowed to dip in and out of your life, but don't give everyone that option.

  8. You don't need the highest marks to consider yourself smart.

  9. There are still people in this world that are not as open minded as you. Some people don't believe in the things you believe in. You're a little naive by thinking this way, but sometimes when people can be rude and sexist, it's a wakeup call to remind you what you're fighting for.

  10. The opinions of those that don't matter, don't matter. Stop worrying about how everyone else feels about you and focus on the opinions of the people that really matter.

  11. Regardless of how badly you don't want to rely on other people, sometimes you need them. For support, for love, for getting drunk on wine and talking about life at 2am, and for their comforting words when you need them the most. People can drive you nuts, but you'll always need them.

  12. You don't need to have specific things done at a certain age. Any kind of social ideals that say you need to have things done by a certain time or age are dumb. Take your time. Enjoy the view. 

  13. And in reference to #12, remember that there is no age limit on learning. Want to learn ballet? Take a class. You will never be incredible - or even good at it - but at least you're learning. 

  14. When you're 21 you will say that being nice is always a good thing. It isn't all the time. You will learn this when you will deal with harassment and being nice does not mean that you will get the respect that you deserve. Be a bitch if it's needed.

  15. Stop procrastinating. You always say you will do things early because you know how stressed you get, but every time you choose re-watching a show you've already seen on Netflix and then you cry to your mother about how stressed you are and she will tell you to relax. (re: #1)  Just do things early so you aren't up until 2am working on an assignment, when you could be up at 2am watching Parks and Recreation instead.

  16. Forgiving people doesn't make you weak. Not everyone deserves your forgiveness, but you'll give it to them anyways. But remember that you always have the option of not giving them the pleasure.

  17. Stop looking at your legs with a negative lens. They take you everywhere and anywhere you need to go. They are a work of art, even when you don't think so.

  18. You're not stuck. You don't have to like the things you used to like, and you can like things you never used to like. 

  19. Be patient with your friends and family. Before you get angry or frustrated, look at the situation from their point of view. Put yourself in their shoes. Be aware of their feelings and stories and situations.

  20. You're a little problematic at times. You're going to say things that you didn't mean and you're going to say things that are going to be taken the wrong way, that's fine. Remember what we said about #13? You're learning. Learn from your mistakes.

  21. Take care of your little sister. You were 16 once - it's a horrible age full of insecurities and awkwardness. Remind her that you're there if she ever needs you.

  22. Nostalgia is usually a liar. You will remember a lot of the good parts, which will make you sad, but remember the bad parts too. That way when you're alone at 2am missing someone, remember that everything wasn't always peaches and cream. 

  23. You're getting older. Relax. You still (hopefully) have another sixty or so years left to get old. Sixty more years of figuring out your shit, loving other people, and learning. Don't waste time focusing on being scared of aging, but focus it on building a life you love, surrounded by the people you love. 


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