As a kid in school, I was pretty shy. I was quieter than normal, didn't like raising my hand to answer questions in fear of getting it wrong, hated presenting and public speaking in any way, and never really was an exuberant student. It really wasn't until I was in college that I started becoming more open, more vocal, more loud. I gained lots of experience in public speaking and really felt like I became a lot more me.
But something I've always gone back to has been writing. I would use writing as an escape from whatever I was going through or when I just needed some down time. I wrote in diaries/journals ever since I was young, I wrote stories about my favourite characters, and ever since 2010 I've been writing various things on this blog. I still like to write in journals and notes on my iPhone and post-it notes everywhere. Little scribbles of things I've thought about, words I liked, and usually a lot of nonsense.
Having said all of that, I've never been super confident in my writing. I never liked to call myself a 'writer' because when I think of writers, I think of Cheryl Strayed, J.K Rowling, Lang Leav, Stephen Chbosky, Meg Fee, and a million of my other favourite writers. I would think about how I could never compare to these incredible people that write words that have made me laugh out loud, cry many tears, and make me feel empowered. I never used to think of myself as someone that could do all of those things with the words that I write.
I realized I'm a writer just by writing. Just by expressing myself through words and sentences and paragraphs and essays, I'm a writer. By putting pen to paper or my fingers to a keyboard, I'm a writer. So are all the other bloggers out there, and people that write stories on their favourite tv shows or books, and people that just write as a hobby.
Lately I've been thinking about why I decided to start writing - whether it's private or publicly, and I've come up with a few of my own reasons why I write:
I write because it's therapeutic - it's an outlet for all of the thoughts in my brain and to put the feelings that I have in my body in words. It's cleansing to get it all out. It's helped me deal with personal issues and become a lot more self-aware.
I write because I want to help. Sometimes we all need to read something to make ourselves feel a bit better. I've needed to read something for comfort or to help validate what I'm feeling if it's 2am and I'm having a tiny little freakout. If any of my scribbles and notes and words can help any other person or make someone's day a little brighter, then I'm happy.
I write because it creates a conversation between two people. I've written about some interesting things (catcalling, love thy selfie) and those posts have created some great conversation, both online and in-person. (I also really like to talk to people, so any sort of communication that can start from some writing is great!)
Finally, I write because it's for me. It's something I have complete control over. It's something I can choose to do because I enjoy it. I don't do it to prove anything to anyone. I write because I love it. It's all mine.
I love the way words can intertwine and the way a passage can make me feel like I've just gone through an emotional journey - just with a few sentences stringed together perfectly. The writers I look up to are continuously creating powerful essays and stories that help them get over whatever they are dealing with, but then they share it with others to help them too. Not only are they helping themselves, but helping others too. That is why I write, and why I plan on writing for a long time to come!
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